Letter to the {3rd} Birthday Boy

Silas,

This year as I write you these words, I'm filled with a different mixture of feelings than ever before as a mother.  The Lord has taught me so much through the course of this past year, all good and some hard.  I'm thankful that He chose to use you to show me some of those things.
First though, I want to slow down and take some moments to communicate how wonderfully made you are.  Your teachers from homeschool co-op described you using these adjectives: curious, silly, adorable, smiley, inquisitive, energetic, friendly, spirited and a great listener.  It's fun that though they've known you just a short time, it's evident that your personality shines through quickly.  You do nothing halfway, my boy.  You've taught me the exhilarating beauty of jumping right in, no matter what the risks might be.  You have non-stop charm.  And this greatly helps your cause since you also have a strong will.  You love with the intensity of a hurricane.  From your infant days, you've been a mama's boy and I'm thrilled that it hasn't changed yet.  If I'm being honest, there have been times that I've been weary that you demand so much of me.  But wrapped up in the weariness is the gift of being loved fiercely and the invitation to reciprocate that kind of intense love.
One of my favorite manifestations of this love are the frequent collisions against my leg followed by a loud puckering up of your lips.  Those leg kisses just make my day.  You and your sister haven't quite figured out how to play with each other in a consistently positive way.  I've gotten a few rare glimpses of you two delighting in each other's company but your different personalities results in plenty of squabbles.  I'm thankful I have the time to invest in helping you grow your friendship.  I have confidence you'll develop an unshakable bond.  Earlier this year, we were feeding the geese when one of them hissed at Lily.  You shouted, "Get away from my sister!".  Oh goodness, it was completely endearing.
I never have to wonder what you're thinking or feeling.  I get a kick out of the phrases you use at such an early age, often saying "Hmmm, maybe not", "I think so" and "Are you kidding me?!".  You have very strong likes and dislikes and there's no convincing you otherwise.  I see so much passion in you.  I see determination and zeal.  I see someone who won't give up when the goin' gets tough.  I see someone who doesn't sit back and wait for others to initiate.  You go out and discover adventure.  You aren't afraid of hard things.  I see the potential of an adult who is willing to look conflict in the face and not go running.  Though these qualities are maddening at times while I'm carrying out the task of shepherding your heart, my desire is to keep a long view and appreciate that these same qualities will be amazing as a grown man.
Recently I attended a conference designed for moms.  One of the sessions I chose was called, "What About That Child?".  I was so deeply encouraged.  It shifted my mindset and gave me a new gratitude for the opportunity I've been offered: to raise a world changer!  You are the best thing that could have happened to me as a mom.  I'm presented with the chance over and over again to die to myself , my own selfish desires and instead rely heavily on the Lord to sustain me. God sent you to me on purpose.  And He knows both of us better than we know ourselves.  He has a sense of humor and loves to see us grow.  Your particular gifts will take me places that I never intended to, but need, to go.  I want to embrace the adventure and chase after abundant life with you.
You help me consider new ideas and perspectives.  I want to enjoy the freedom of letting you be who you were made to be.  Let's keep asking the question - "I wonder what God might do through you?".  I know it's gonna be big.  And I'd love a front row seat.
Probably the most fitting way to end this letter is by conveying the simple and precious words you to say to me every single night as I walk out of your bedroom and we finish up another day together..."I'll never stop loving you."

Always,
Mommy