Letter to the (2nd) Birthday Boy

Silas,
   
    This second year of your life has been an adventure for sure.  Your robust personality is unmatched!  I had no idea when I first held you in my arms how much you would change my heart.  This journey with you keeps taking me by surprise.  I've learned like never before that a mother's labor and delivery doesn't end.  I come to God with my nothing and He multiplies it and I'm surprised by joy.
   
    I've discovered a few things about you.  For starters, you are all about your mama!  You could fall down and crack your head with hardly a cry but if I leave your sight or I'm engaged in something that prevents me from picking you up - well, you'd think the world was over.  It leaves me feeling both exhausted and deeply loved.  That's another thing I've discovered is that often times with you - my sweet yet fiery guy - I feel a mixed bag of emotions.  Weary yet full of joy, frustrated yet humbled.  I've discovered that you are so very different than me and that's precisely why I find you so endearing.  Your life has opened up a whole new dimension of ideas and interests to our family.
 
     I love having the ability to witness every moment of your day, from the time you awake til the moment you lay your head down at night.  You are full of action.  You delight in destroying things.  You have a (very) strong will.  You want to do everything that Lily does.  You are only snuggly when you first wake up or are not feeling well.  You like to help me load the dishwasher and let Jax outside.  Your smile is the best.  You make the most adorable faces when you've done something wrong, so Daddy and I quickly look away to hide our laughter before addressing the problem.  You're my Mr. Social, greeting others everywhere we go and saying, "Bye, Love you!" as we leave.  You are beginning to enjoy sitting to listen to books being read.  You often request a movie and will sometimes ask to watch a "Boom! Boom!" movie, which refers to one of Daddy's action flicks.  You have great rhythm and will break out your moves within the first few beats of a song.  Sometimes during worship music, you'll lift your hands in praise and my heart soars.
   
    Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing a good job raising you and your sister.  It's so hard and I certainly mess up most days and have to ask for forgiveness time after time.  But I think when I'm sitting in the stillness and tune my ear to God's voice, I hear the answer - "Yes, by My grace, you are."  I'm learning flexibility.  I'm learning to let go of my silly expectations that I impose on those around me and on myself.  I'm learning it's ok to say "No" or "Not yet" to lots of good things, so I can say "Yes" to only what is needed.  I'm learning how complex love really is.  I'm learning that being your mother is going to be the way that God uses most to show me how He parents me.
   
    Thank you for all that you are.  I have no doubt that the coming year will again take me by surprise as we twist and turn around every corner and hang on for the ride of a lifetime.  I pray God continues to grow our relationship in new and unexpected ways.  I love you, my sweet and mighty boy!

~ Mommy

Letter to the (4th) Birthday Girl

My sweet Lily girl -

With each passing year, it seems like time is picking up speed. I remember 4 years ago today how the whole world stood still for a moment as our eyes met for the first time. I will never forget how it felt to hold my firstborn child – you – in all of your fresh, untainted beauty. I had to catch my breath. From that day on, God has gifted us with a relationship that has surpassed all I had imagined. I am constantly fascinated by the work He is accomplishing inside of you. Though I am exposed every day to how bright, perceptive and lovely you are, I still at times am caught off guard by how amazing is the masterpiece of you. Having you in my life gives me reason upon reason to praise our Father. You are a treasure.

Without a doubt, the most exciting element of this past year was seeing your faith develop. Your desire to know God more is one of my greatest joys. I look forward every day to all of your questions and the many comments you make that give me a window into your heart. One day this year you said, “God is the biggest, best, boss ever!” I laughed but mixed with the humor was a deep gratitude within me. I hope that you hold onto that view, your passion ever increasing. Most nights at dinner, you volunteer to pray and as you do, Daddy and I glance at each other with tears in our eyes. One that I remember recently went something like this: “Dear God, I thank you for my family. I pray we have good relationships. Sometimes I do bad things. Thank you that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. Amen.”

This year I have been surprised by everything you are able to do on your own. Somewhere along the way, you've learned to run the tech devices in our home, get yourself dressed, empty the dishwasher and even make a smoothie. I was impressed by that one, coming down the stairs to see you had gathered all of the necessary ingredients, poured them in the blender and stood there on your step stool with a big grin on your face, happy with your accomplishment.

You love to make forts, rearrange our dining room furniture and couch cushions, play with water and pretend play with your dolls and stuffed animals. Most of these interests create extra work for me but isn't that why I do what I do anyway? I'm in the ministry of availability and sacrifice and although it's challenging, there's just nothing else I'd rather be doing. Inside the walls of our home, I've grown more than in any other context. Being your mom is the best. And for the sake of keeping things real, I distinctly recall a moment when I was doing dishes and you had squeezed yourself between me and the cabinet, making it difficult for me to get my task finished. I sternly said, “Lily, please move!” You immediately burst into tears and said “I just wanted to be with you!”. Oh, how that crushed me. And I'm glad it did. That scene sticks with me. I want to listen to you with not only my ears but with my eyes and heart. You'll grow to learn that this world wages war in the form of distractions. There are so many things that beg for my attention but none of them compare to the two little gifts God through His grace has given – you and your brother. I did fail that day. Failure is a part of life. But one thing was evident...God always stands ready to forgive. And when He does, all is restored. I'm thankful the moment ended with us cuddling, able to talk about messing up and forgiveness.

I love seeing you nurture Silas. With his rough-and-tumble personality, someone usually winds up getting hurt! The moments, though, where hugs and kisses are exchanged bring a warmth to our lives, reminding me of the gift you have in each other. You are always eager to guide him. He is surely blessed to have a sister who loves him the way you do.

The affection you and Daddy share is worth more than pure gold. The light in your eyes when he holds you close says it all. Every evening when he goes upstairs to change out of his work clothes, you ask him in a sweet, soft voice, “Can you wear a shirt that I can pull on?”. We discovered that you love to snuggle up to him and pull a piece of his shirt between your fingers. When he asked you why, you said “Because it makes me feel safe.” I'm so thankful you have a father who is a reflection of our heavenly Father who takes great delight in both adoring and protecting you.

I wonder what great things I'll have to talk about next year that God did in and through you. I am sure there will be laughter, tears, adventures, sibling rivalries and something to be thankful for at every turn. When we let God's word define us, we know who we are and where we are going. You can trust me to do my best to teach you those things. How blessed I am to enter into every moment with you, expectantly looking to see what we might learn together. Just as you tell me with each sunrise or sunset we encounter - “That's God at work!” - let's find out what else He'll do in our midst, shall we? My oh my, how I love you. Happy 4^th Birthday, Lily.

Mommy

Haircuts

Yes, that's plural.  I decided when Silas needed his first haircut that I'd schedule Lily's at the same time.  They both did great!  It's amazing how just trimming a child's hair makes them look more grown up.  Yet another reminder that these times fly by so quickly!

 Before

 After!

 Before

After!

Christmas

Slowly getting caught up!  I don't think I had ever celebrated and prepared my heart for Christmas quite like I did this year.  A friend and I journeyed through the book, "The Greatest Gift" by Ann Voskamp and our church also went through Advent.  It was wonderful to slow down, learn a ton and make the focus of every single day be about anticipating the birth of Christ in our hearts.  Lily also understood alot so we had some great conversations.  It makes me excited to share more and more with my children every year and watch their faith grow.  My sister was also able to visit us along with her husband and the kids loved it!  After opening gifts Christmas morning, we headed down to Seymour to visit family but I forgot to take pictures, which happens a lot these days!

 Who knew the apple in Lily's stocking would be such a hit?!.....

 These horses are from the Dollar Tree, folks.  If we adults don't go overboard, we'll find it doesn't take much.  Lily saw these when we were picking out items to send to a girl overseas who lives in poverty.  It was so hard for her to put them back when I said no.  But she understood that the shopping trip was just to be about the child in need.  It ended up being a great lesson for her and I knew she'd be thrilled when she opened it on Christmas!

 New art supplies from Grandpa and Grandma Jones!

 Me and my sis

 Aunt Tracy with the kids

 Jon Mark & Tracy