“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God
my Savior; my God will hear me.”
~ Micah 7:7
Waiting on God.
This comes up a lot in Christian talk.
It’s all fine and dandy until you experience it. I’m here to testify that the process is
painful. I will also testify that my
growth as a person and follower of Jesus has significantly intensified as a
result of my God-given season of waiting.
Though I am still very much in the wait, God has already allowed me to
become victorious in my heart and mind.
The first thing God needed to do in this process for me,
was to get me to slow down. I was caught
up in the traps the enemy uses to keep humans – especially Americans – from being
ineffective and not close to the Lord: busyness and distraction. My health challenges, sovereignly allowed by
my Father, forced me to slow way down. I
see that now as His kindness. What I was
able to discover is that when I slow down, I can hear His voice. It’s amazing!
It’s no longer a here-and-there experience but rather a moment by moment
dialogue with the King of the Universe.
When I was busy & distracted, not only could I not hear but I also
didn’t have eyes to see all that He was doing in and around me. The scales have fallen from my eyes and my ears
are now unlocked to hear Him in every facet of my life. And I truly feel unworthy to have that
privilege, all the while accepting it with exuberant thankfulness!
After the Lord trained me to slow down, He could then
begin the process of teaching me to wait on Him in all things. Right now, I am currently gifted with the
opportunity to wait on Him in three major areas:
Adoption
Health
Finances
Now, these three take on different forms but the theme
remains the same. Wait and Trust. The building and toning of spiritual muscle
requires much repetition and practice, just as physical muscle requires. During the training, God is not some harsh
taskmaster. He is a Father who delights
in His children. So, sometimes He throws
in some small tests, so we can see ourselves triumphing in Him. Much like physical conditioning, it is
encouraging to see how far we’ve come.
It empowers us to move forward.
God gave me one of these small tests recently. But I had to put into practice what He had already
taught me – to slow down, trust, and wait.
I am not a runner. But I have
been itching to start using my Couch25K app and begin to jog & walk. My pitiful running shoes that I bought in
college 15 years ago just weren’t going to cut it. So, I headed to a local store that is very
knowledgeable when it comes to running shoes.
I knew going into it, that the shoes they carry are far beyond our
budget but I simply wanted to find out what shoes are the right fit for
me. Well, lo and behold, I was captivated
by the pair I tried on. (Isn’t it silly how material things can have that pull
on our hearts?). So, now I was at a
crossroads. Either I could keep wearing
my worn out pair and continue getting the dreaded shin splints or just not
exercise at all. I didn’t like either of
those options but neither Justin nor I were comfortable spending that amount of
money on a pair of running shoes for someone who is definitely not planning to
train for a marathon! So, I got in the
van and prayed. God has taught me to
bring Him everything. I brought before
Him my desire/need to find a pair of shoes.
I asked Him that out of His sweetness, would He please lead the way and
provide? And then I waited. 10 days to be exact.
My daily devotional a few days later echoed what He had
shown: “You may be able to rush the unfolding of some aspects of God’s will,
but you harm His work in the long run.”
In James 1 it tells us that perseverance must finish its work so we may
be mature and complete. When I used to
read this, I’d think ‘I want to be mature and complete! Oh, waiting and suffering is the way? Um, no thanks, God.’ If I’m honest, I was content before, to have
a shallow relationship with God because I wanted nothing to do with the pain
and suffering required to go deeper. But
God wanted more for me as His daughter. And
He knew His grace would be sufficient for every moment of my weakness. So now, the contentment to stay in shallow
waters having been gloriously shattered, I find myself joyously treading water
out in the deep ocean waves. Out there,
I am well aware that I am like Peter, the risk always before me of sinking, the
minute I let go of Jesus’s hand.
Another thing waiting has produced in me is compassion. When my kids are fidgeting in the grocery
check-out lane, I bend down and whisper, “I know it’s hard to wait. It’s not fun sometimes. But I know you can do it. I believe in you!” And their restlessness turns into a
smile. Just like mine does when my
Father encourages me.
Because I’m human and earth-bound, I still have moments –
even whole days – where I’m on my knees, back in that familiar place of
desperation. But I can now appreciate
the beautiful contrast it creates, an almost rhythmic dance of joy and
pain. God knows when I need the rain,
when I need the sunshine and exactly how much of each. When the sunshine comes, I receive it as a
gift to the contrast of those gloomy moments when I need to search a little
extra more for His face. I take comfort
in Jeremiah 29:13 that reassures me I will always find Him when I seek Him with
all of my heart. He will be found.
By God’s grace alone, when more waiting opportunities
come, I can respond in childlike faith: “Yes, Daddy.” Because I know from experience, He only has
good on the other side.
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