Letter to the (2nd) Birthday Boy

Silas,
   
    This second year of your life has been an adventure for sure.  Your robust personality is unmatched!  I had no idea when I first held you in my arms how much you would change my heart.  This journey with you keeps taking me by surprise.  I've learned like never before that a mother's labor and delivery doesn't end.  I come to God with my nothing and He multiplies it and I'm surprised by joy.
   
    I've discovered a few things about you.  For starters, you are all about your mama!  You could fall down and crack your head with hardly a cry but if I leave your sight or I'm engaged in something that prevents me from picking you up - well, you'd think the world was over.  It leaves me feeling both exhausted and deeply loved.  That's another thing I've discovered is that often times with you - my sweet yet fiery guy - I feel a mixed bag of emotions.  Weary yet full of joy, frustrated yet humbled.  I've discovered that you are so very different than me and that's precisely why I find you so endearing.  Your life has opened up a whole new dimension of ideas and interests to our family.
 
     I love having the ability to witness every moment of your day, from the time you awake til the moment you lay your head down at night.  You are full of action.  You delight in destroying things.  You have a (very) strong will.  You want to do everything that Lily does.  You are only snuggly when you first wake up or are not feeling well.  You like to help me load the dishwasher and let Jax outside.  Your smile is the best.  You make the most adorable faces when you've done something wrong, so Daddy and I quickly look away to hide our laughter before addressing the problem.  You're my Mr. Social, greeting others everywhere we go and saying, "Bye, Love you!" as we leave.  You are beginning to enjoy sitting to listen to books being read.  You often request a movie and will sometimes ask to watch a "Boom! Boom!" movie, which refers to one of Daddy's action flicks.  You have great rhythm and will break out your moves within the first few beats of a song.  Sometimes during worship music, you'll lift your hands in praise and my heart soars.
   
    Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing a good job raising you and your sister.  It's so hard and I certainly mess up most days and have to ask for forgiveness time after time.  But I think when I'm sitting in the stillness and tune my ear to God's voice, I hear the answer - "Yes, by My grace, you are."  I'm learning flexibility.  I'm learning to let go of my silly expectations that I impose on those around me and on myself.  I'm learning it's ok to say "No" or "Not yet" to lots of good things, so I can say "Yes" to only what is needed.  I'm learning how complex love really is.  I'm learning that being your mother is going to be the way that God uses most to show me how He parents me.
   
    Thank you for all that you are.  I have no doubt that the coming year will again take me by surprise as we twist and turn around every corner and hang on for the ride of a lifetime.  I pray God continues to grow our relationship in new and unexpected ways.  I love you, my sweet and mighty boy!

~ Mommy