Monday, March 3, 2014

Letter to the (4th) Birthday Girl

My sweet Lily girl -

With each passing year, it seems like time is picking up speed. I remember 4 years ago today how the whole world stood still for a moment as our eyes met for the first time. I will never forget how it felt to hold my firstborn child – you – in all of your fresh, untainted beauty. I had to catch my breath. From that day on, God has gifted us with a relationship that has surpassed all I had imagined. I am constantly fascinated by the work He is accomplishing inside of you. Though I am exposed every day to how bright, perceptive and lovely you are, I still at times am caught off guard by how amazing is the masterpiece of you. Having you in my life gives me reason upon reason to praise our Father. You are a treasure.

Without a doubt, the most exciting element of this past year was seeing your faith develop. Your desire to know God more is one of my greatest joys. I look forward every day to all of your questions and the many comments you make that give me a window into your heart. One day this year you said, “God is the biggest, best, boss ever!” I laughed but mixed with the humor was a deep gratitude within me. I hope that you hold onto that view, your passion ever increasing. Most nights at dinner, you volunteer to pray and as you do, Daddy and I glance at each other with tears in our eyes. One that I remember recently went something like this: “Dear God, I thank you for my family. I pray we have good relationships. Sometimes I do bad things. Thank you that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. Amen.”

This year I have been surprised by everything you are able to do on your own. Somewhere along the way, you've learned to run the tech devices in our home, get yourself dressed, empty the dishwasher and even make a smoothie. I was impressed by that one, coming down the stairs to see you had gathered all of the necessary ingredients, poured them in the blender and stood there on your step stool with a big grin on your face, happy with your accomplishment.

You love to make forts, rearrange our dining room furniture and couch cushions, play with water and pretend play with your dolls and stuffed animals. Most of these interests create extra work for me but isn't that why I do what I do anyway? I'm in the ministry of availability and sacrifice and although it's challenging, there's just nothing else I'd rather be doing. Inside the walls of our home, I've grown more than in any other context. Being your mom is the best. And for the sake of keeping things real, I distinctly recall a moment when I was doing dishes and you had squeezed yourself between me and the cabinet, making it difficult for me to get my task finished. I sternly said, “Lily, please move!” You immediately burst into tears and said “I just wanted to be with you!”. Oh, how that crushed me. And I'm glad it did. That scene sticks with me. I want to listen to you with not only my ears but with my eyes and heart. You'll grow to learn that this world wages war in the form of distractions. There are so many things that beg for my attention but none of them compare to the two little gifts God through His grace has given – you and your brother. I did fail that day. Failure is a part of life. But one thing was evident...God always stands ready to forgive. And when He does, all is restored. I'm thankful the moment ended with us cuddling, able to talk about messing up and forgiveness.

I love seeing you nurture Silas. With his rough-and-tumble personality, someone usually winds up getting hurt! The moments, though, where hugs and kisses are exchanged bring a warmth to our lives, reminding me of the gift you have in each other. You are always eager to guide him. He is surely blessed to have a sister who loves him the way you do.

The affection you and Daddy share is worth more than pure gold. The light in your eyes when he holds you close says it all. Every evening when he goes upstairs to change out of his work clothes, you ask him in a sweet, soft voice, “Can you wear a shirt that I can pull on?”. We discovered that you love to snuggle up to him and pull a piece of his shirt between your fingers. When he asked you why, you said “Because it makes me feel safe.” I'm so thankful you have a father who is a reflection of our heavenly Father who takes great delight in both adoring and protecting you.

I wonder what great things I'll have to talk about next year that God did in and through you. I am sure there will be laughter, tears, adventures, sibling rivalries and something to be thankful for at every turn. When we let God's word define us, we know who we are and where we are going. You can trust me to do my best to teach you those things. How blessed I am to enter into every moment with you, expectantly looking to see what we might learn together. Just as you tell me with each sunrise or sunset we encounter - “That's God at work!” - let's find out what else He'll do in our midst, shall we? My oh my, how I love you. Happy 4th Birthday, Lily.

Mommy

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